What Does It Mean to Be a Gentleman

I’m not sure I’ll be giving you specific clothing examples or tips on how to choose the right suit in this message. This is more of a stream of thoughts. I’m sitting on a plane, reflecting, and decided to write it down and share it with you.

I don’t know if I can call myself a gentleman. But I do know this — I stay true to myself, and I love what I do.

To me, being a gentleman isn’t about wearing a nice suit or having polished manners. It’s a way of life. A mindset. A daily choice. It’s about responsibility. About striving to grow, to develop — inside and out.

The suit? Yes, it matters. But it’s just the cherry on top. Without a foundation, a suit means nothing. It won’t carry you unless there’s a man inside who knows who he is.

Not imitating someone else. Not copying. But creating. Creating yourself — through experience, mistakes, and conscious decisions. And yes, it takes time. I first heard about it from my grandmother. She told me what it means to be a real man — not in words, but in actions.

And I remember what my father once said: If you’re not sure, don’t promise. But if you do — then do whatever it takes to keep that promise. Even if it’s hard. Even if it hurts.

There’s also something that’s been with me for years — a small sticker I placed on my laptop long ago. It reads: “What do I need to do today to make us better?” That simple question helps me grow. It keeps me moving.

We talked about this recently over dinner in Greece. One of the men shared how his father slowly stopped feeding his inner energy. He just sat on the couch, watched videos, stopped being curious — and within two years, he wasn’t the same man. He had lost himself. That story stuck with me. That’s why this is a forever practice. You have to stay awake. Stay engaged.

That’s why I believe in creating yourself, not “finding” yourself. Creating is active. It’s about opening the door to experiences that shape you, challenge you, and help you rise. And if you’re scared — do it anyway. I recently said something in a conversation that stuck with me: “If life gives you a chance to embarrass yourself — take it.” Of course, ask the right questions first: What will this give me? Will it make me stronger? Will it help me grow? If yes — act.

And one more thing — gratitude. A simple word, but powerful. Every morning, I start with it. I give thanks for a glass of water. For a blanket. For a walk. For the silence. For being here — exactly as I am.

And every night, as I lie down, I ask myself three questions:

• What am I proud of today?
• What am I grateful for?
• What truly mattered?

This practice changed my life back in 2020. That’s when I came out of a depression. Not because of a miracle — but because I started to notice the simple, the real, the beautiful. I began to feel again.

And today, as I write to you, I just want to say: being a gentleman isn’t about what you wear. It’s about how you live. It’s a path. And if you’re on that path — then you’re already doing something right.